I know absolutely NOTHING about Bridge, except that Omar Sharif was apparently a competitive pro at it and there's a heckuva candy mix named for the game.
Anyway, my father became renown for telling great jokes, usually ones that strung out like a full skein of yarn. He had told my mom a great story and she said "Oh, you just have to tell it at the next bridge club!" The next card night came around, hosted somewhere other than our house. Everyone had fun, some delicious new dessert recipe from Better Homes and Gardens magazine was enjoyed, the large-urn coffee pot was drained, and everyone left for home. On the way, my mother looked incredulously at my father and said "You didn't tell your joke! Why not?"
His answer? "The timing wasn't right."
A great joke that would have drawn attention and gotten everyone laughing. Who wouldn't want that? But Dad had the sensitivity to recognize that particular gathering wasn't the right time for his story. Perhaps another story had gotten everyone talking that night, and the mood and the conversation headed in another direction. Maybe Dad had never really gotten the floor, and there's an art to first deserving, then holding, everyone's attention. Whatever the reason, he made the right choice. And on another Bridge club night, he played out that joke, and people recalled the telling for years. (By the way, don't ask me which joke it was: he had so many, and it most likely bent today's politically correct rules.)
Timing. It can be everything. So can content, and delivery style. But the best content can be lost if the timing isn't calculated just so.
Recently, I've made many new acquaintances and have begun new friendships As the new kid, I get some attention...but not wholly all of it. I've learned in my double-nickel life-span that people really are most interested in themselves. I'm not shaming all of humankind, just making an observation that has empirical evidence. In a conversation, it is more likely that you think about what you can contribute next, rather than listen carefully to what another person says. If you are the one explaining, or relating, or pontificating, understand that your experience may be germane to the topic, but the teased out details, well, not so much. Remember: the other person is beginning to think about what they can say in relation to your words. Usually, your details are captivating only to you.
Sorry, this is true. UNLESS...
...the timing is right.
There are times when the minutiae of your escapade may capture the imaginations of others, and they are eager for you to go on! Go on! Be sensitive: while you are certainly the most interesting person in your shorts to you, it would do you good to find out what's interesting about everyone else. Don't be disappointed when new colleagues are more concerned about their weekend plans or where they are going for lunch than they are about what you used to do in your old job. Let them take you to a new deli, and when they ASK you about your life, share a little and inquire a lot. Pretty soon, they'll get to know you. And you'll get to know them.
My husband does a good job of this. He knows his workmates backgrounds, their heritage, their hobbies, and a bit about their family life. I'm sure they also know quite a bit about him, too, but he has taken the time to inquire and to listen. His newness in his job does not qualify him as The Most Interesting Man in that office (although, he is certainly very interesting!). There are lots of interesting people everywhere. With eager ears and careful words, we can develop a world where stories are told and retold to develop an ever-widening web of friendships
His answer? "The timing wasn't right."
A great joke that would have drawn attention and gotten everyone laughing. Who wouldn't want that? But Dad had the sensitivity to recognize that particular gathering wasn't the right time for his story. Perhaps another story had gotten everyone talking that night, and the mood and the conversation headed in another direction. Maybe Dad had never really gotten the floor, and there's an art to first deserving, then holding, everyone's attention. Whatever the reason, he made the right choice. And on another Bridge club night, he played out that joke, and people recalled the telling for years. (By the way, don't ask me which joke it was: he had so many, and it most likely bent today's politically correct rules.)
Timing. It can be everything. So can content, and delivery style. But the best content can be lost if the timing isn't calculated just so.
Recently, I've made many new acquaintances and have begun new friendships As the new kid, I get some attention...but not wholly all of it. I've learned in my double-nickel life-span that people really are most interested in themselves. I'm not shaming all of humankind, just making an observation that has empirical evidence. In a conversation, it is more likely that you think about what you can contribute next, rather than listen carefully to what another person says. If you are the one explaining, or relating, or pontificating, understand that your experience may be germane to the topic, but the teased out details, well, not so much. Remember: the other person is beginning to think about what they can say in relation to your words. Usually, your details are captivating only to you.
Sorry, this is true. UNLESS...
...the timing is right.
There are times when the minutiae of your escapade may capture the imaginations of others, and they are eager for you to go on! Go on! Be sensitive: while you are certainly the most interesting person in your shorts to you, it would do you good to find out what's interesting about everyone else. Don't be disappointed when new colleagues are more concerned about their weekend plans or where they are going for lunch than they are about what you used to do in your old job. Let them take you to a new deli, and when they ASK you about your life, share a little and inquire a lot. Pretty soon, they'll get to know you. And you'll get to know them.
My husband does a good job of this. He knows his workmates backgrounds, their heritage, their hobbies, and a bit about their family life. I'm sure they also know quite a bit about him, too, but he has taken the time to inquire and to listen. His newness in his job does not qualify him as The Most Interesting Man in that office (although, he is certainly very interesting!). There are lots of interesting people everywhere. With eager ears and careful words, we can develop a world where stories are told and retold to develop an ever-widening web of friendships
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